甘瑅走后，最初的一两个月，甘棠没法接受现实。她每天回到家，都会下意识找一圈。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>gplo1x2jyfema9furbmkwe5ianskbjpcc3yvnq7z</blockquote>

  他像个看不见的幽灵，当她在卧室里时，他仿佛留在自己的房间，当她找遍他的房间时，他又似乎躲进洗手间。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>pqajybs7t5svrfqawtrbunodz0fwvl61eh8u3nji</blockquote>

  甘瑅没带走几样东西，以至于房屋陈设还保留原来的模样，桌上有些杂乱，甘棠最初想要整理，却又放弃了。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>fbfe6wr45rlkzja8o7yudgtkc0n2nixhzveiq1po</blockquote>

  她不忍破坏他曾留下的痕迹。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>zgsvdahlqb1tvrqop89khfcukwu6yy7m2f0ijwbj</blockquote>

  只是，随着时间过去，桌上积了灰，甘棠终究还是得抹去那些痕迹。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>xdhsaytelvj1rqz2ob6yg8mgntine7c0kacsr93h</blockquote>

  干净整洁的桌子，不会等来弄乱它的那个人。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>mvagb4ibs5hfqnj6r1gh2ndvld8catmyxes7ruuw</blockquote>

  寂寥吗？<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>2okrigntx1hekdp3yhwpnqr94zbzjxlajcbs8fvl</blockquote>

  甘棠缩抱成一团，睡在他的床上。贪恋着那一点残留的气息。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>o49lfu8v6xgh7jxqwcbkafm1tbljepz0nryoaiku</blockquote>

  孤独吗？<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>ozmyhr0jhdb8a1pfoykwxqfblciu7dwqggnkepcz</blockquote>

  她不知道，一场相聚渺茫的分离，同死别有何区别。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>geifcqa0pjpntgo9vc8m3l6bf2arxzmevybr4lds</blockquote>

  甘瑅抛下了她。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>qa6yxmwkurntaldmozodb0ew9hyvi3hj547cc1ig</blockquote>

  活人的抛弃不比死人，是出于自身意志抉择，因而显得更不可原谅。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>1joptgq84nw7bxsnpdev3omcy6ry2brvalg9jxkm</blockquote>

  甘棠因这个被一点点强化巩固的认知，对甘瑅恨意与日俱增。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>ca4xg795mgvpekzsclrkfjvlqifyo3y8tb6uztxs</blockquote>

  他就最好死了。她咬牙切齿地想。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>ajniryzd9xtlgnudcmp5e7vsbsqvkbchw6xyhr4p</blockquote>

  然后就梦到了他。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>rc7ou0jft4va9eszvn1xhcfhksb5iwkqmxgpumdz</blockquote>

  少年像只猫似的被抓住封进棺材，送进暗不见光的地底洞穴。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>mfq3hkc68lxezo1by0bghkgs7wupwveayvntztcr</blockquote>

  洞穴宽敞，两旁摆满密密麻麻的棺材。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>znsxcwjh2gvyxumbrwyhvt5bgdo6iea9lj8csorp</blockquote>

  甘棠急的心急火燎，顾不得害怕，自那些棺材之间寻找甘瑅，小声唤他的名字。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>lo3bepzcx0kwyt4jzdsqmrhgvikuhgdtryf5elsx</blockquote>

  后来，少年就推开棺材盖，慢悠悠坐起身招呼她，“姐，我在这儿呢。”<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>tc4cd1zbnirwvjqq386wihpyja2xoozvamk5ubpn</blockquote>

  他的肤色苍白得近乎透明，在昏暗的洞穴里泛着淡而柔和的光。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>kx45yognjcd0rebtblshfm7aemzgizcwsylwvdvt</blockquote>

  迎着狂喜的甘棠，甘瑅只哀伤一笑，“姐，你来晚了，我没法离开了。”<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>l4yfu5xihowmkssvckb2igg73zupved0ahn6ytaf</blockquote>

  “我已经死了。”<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>zgvt7d5olj1qmkgrvj09azmirb6xnutqcupfpksy</blockquote>

  怎么会这样？<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>qujhrbwxegk16amd0sa4o9cqoskzxf5vp8wtztbp</blockquote>

  甘棠难以置信地看着他，少年的一颦一笑都是这么鲜活，可他却说他死了。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>aeb5cnawlw0gfhsrh9p6gqnvdo4u71xvzsxjyf2o</blockquote>

  她难以置信，去摸他的手，指尖触到的唯有冰冷坚硬，碰触只在一瞬，破碎，化开，散成齑粉。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>xuclymjvosqeut7gic1k5dk8wer3zral4pbf0o6q</blockquote>

  她看着他一点一滴自眼前化成烟一般细的粉末，落回棺材里。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>uvquambehr9p7as1bgpqjvom0kilyitnfj2ezyn5</blockquote>

  甘棠看着自己颤得不成样子的指尖。那里正逐渐化作半透明的白，如同被点着的烟头。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>3c5p7tlrrxhkmntwz2wdpvjgmegxavqoksae9niu</blockquote>

  她心里一动，吹了一下，身体也跟着一节节化掉了。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>zlxsuewhatbv615njm23gkp7zkoru9qdiofcpny8</blockquote>

  偏在这时，洞窟深处吹来一阵风，将她化成的那一把灰推得远了。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>2qiculmyuxqk9ewfzhrbkgdw15x0teda8i6s74jc</blockquote>

  甘棠悲恸地捏紧心脏，难受喘不上气来。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>ctvurjdx3ghfon8mibvjlltb27r9acsexihapdnk</blockquote>

  她头一次发现，唯她一人的空房子，像一只巨大的棺材。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>vdbzsmk4gn7pvzueoailwrrfh39xjj5atxqu</blockquote>

  她再也忍受不了，第二天就去申请住校。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>dxpabcmdly179sguoztie6mwwljt2ouqbhxkjnre</blockquote>

  整个高叁剩下的日子，甘棠几乎都住在学校宿舍，八人间拥挤嘈杂，偶有勾心斗角，却能让她睡个好觉。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>r7zcabddcjy2pqibskol05whwrgsfhenxgiupon6</blockquote>

  那段日子里，甘棠陷入彻底的麻木，她的日子单调，几乎不剩什么喜好，她的味觉出了问题，吃饭也成了苦修的功课。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>bmuj6tgcz23omudeoww5lsfreyftivkvn9apxdic</blockquote>

  甘瑅会给她打电话，陌生的号码，来自遥远的城市，反反复复打来。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>acedzsrdy6gt3lpyhjflgxqpvkxzur1vn7mim9ia</blockquote>

  甘棠知道那是他，没有陌生人肯隔着千里迢迢，小心翼翼挑她的休息时段打骚扰电话。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>kuyroekm5la6gbxes8stbwfzxv1ohtvpczmn4ypi</blockquote>

  她最初不肯接电话，甚至报复性地关了机，直到做了那个梦后，又忽然释然了。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>duhu7tgtosyv6wzoxsckjvigd1frxblqfymw3mj2</blockquote>

  她想毕竟甘瑅还活着，活在看不见的地方，过得好好的。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>jwe6f3tyoc9dfshjpdl4xrzgurlianzbbs18vnkv</blockquote>

  她一点也不想他死掉。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>a1fd9olzsynbah5xupmshgp7icuotqkkcwrrwqln</blockquote>

  他们又恢复联系，每周只打一次电话，因为甘棠只会在周末傍晚时开机。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>bnsexif6lam1cj9k35ehtgfturqdynkcbopa4pyg</blockquote>

  在电话里，甘棠从不提那个吻和何顾，甘瑅也不提他的家庭生活，他们小心避开雷区。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>jlhgbwc2xnvucfrfo6pohwm05samyqkgzund13d9</blockquote>

  甘瑅生日的这天，央着甘棠要生日礼物。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>cpdr4fwzbe6scagux3herpkzlnmuiqymbdj5jo0q</blockquote>

  甘棠有点生气，他又不在旁边，她哪来的礼物给他。<blockquote cite='https://./' class="copyright" style='background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;'>re9aysc50a1imqie3bvzthkgvtw6oxhfj7xrys2u</blockquote>